This Sunday it was special for me.
I bunked my mock test for gate and watched Guzarish.
For the first time I was watching a movie alone ,I was bit low that whether I would feel bad or not but most surprisingly I felt extremely satisfied.
Movie had quite a few touching songs but "sau gram zindagi " left its mark on me.
Just hear it for once you will feel divine.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Long Gap..............time stopped with a hell of questions for me
I went home during Durga Puja and after several dull pujas I really had some nice sweet memoirs to be cherished in this vacation.
I spend the time with my family...........I loved my mom dad's satisfied smile to see me grow up in life ,my sis's constant talks,my brother in law(dabhai's) calm composed attitude.I will remember this vacation.
This above things will be missed every day here in Bangalore.
I watched a bengali movie AUTOGRAPH after a long gap,it was quite mind boggling.
Starting from its acting to songs everything in that movie was superb.
Specially the song which is now my caller tune "AMAKE AMAR MOTON THAKTE DAO" .
this song is melancholic but when u hear u can see your whole life in front of your eyes and u will surely laugh and cry .
Let me be alone and fine.
U left me when I needed the warmth...............
Its cold out here with liitle pain still lingering in my pale heart..........
sun will rise,dark will still evolve..................your memories will still haunt me every second.
The sense that you are there in same existence co-ordinates as me will give pain more that healing.
I want to left alone ................Nah I won't return home this time.
Above lines just came in my mind when I was hearing the above mentioned song...........
Go hear it once if you speak or understand Bengali.
It will make you happier in pain stricken environ.
Lyricist cum Singer is ANUPAM ROY...........kudos to him.
Bye for Now
I spend the time with my family...........I loved my mom dad's satisfied smile to see me grow up in life ,my sis's constant talks,my brother in law(dabhai's) calm composed attitude.I will remember this vacation.
This above things will be missed every day here in Bangalore.
I watched a bengali movie AUTOGRAPH after a long gap,it was quite mind boggling.
Starting from its acting to songs everything in that movie was superb.
Specially the song which is now my caller tune "AMAKE AMAR MOTON THAKTE DAO" .
this song is melancholic but when u hear u can see your whole life in front of your eyes and u will surely laugh and cry .
Let me be alone and fine.
U left me when I needed the warmth...............
Its cold out here with liitle pain still lingering in my pale heart..........
sun will rise,dark will still evolve..................your memories will still haunt me every second.
The sense that you are there in same existence co-ordinates as me will give pain more that healing.
I want to left alone ................Nah I won't return home this time.
Above lines just came in my mind when I was hearing the above mentioned song...........
Go hear it once if you speak or understand Bengali.
It will make you happier in pain stricken environ.
Lyricist cum Singer is ANUPAM ROY...........kudos to him.
Bye for Now
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Blue Drops
It rained hard day in and day out.........
I searched her again in my sky-
Flooded are my senses with her leaving grief.
Last night I saw her again in my dreams,
may be for last time I want to hold her still she screams.
Abstract thoughts,mild touch,sleepy eyes all for you-
come back again in my red heart shedding warmth from your fiery view.
Sky outside my sweet home are turning dark again ,
Just hoping against hope this time blue drops from them don't give me parting pain.
Treat this not as a poem but abstract words te
sted in some rhythm.
I searched her again in my sky-
Flooded are my senses with her leaving grief.
Last night I saw her again in my dreams,
may be for last time I want to hold her still she screams.
Abstract thoughts,mild touch,sleepy eyes all for you-
come back again in my red heart shedding warmth from your fiery view.
Sky outside my sweet home are turning dark again ,
Just hoping against hope this time blue drops from them don't give me parting pain.
Treat this not as a poem but abstract words te
sted in some rhythm.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Lifeline among Red SKY
It was nearly 2.00 clock .Night was still somewhat spreading its tentacles in the old Birbhum Railway Station.Gunja thought about the whole day's penultimate moments some tears accumulated in her fear struck dark eyes.
Gunja Mukherjee,yeah you must been seen her in your favourite news channel chit chatting with filmi personalae or cross questioning polticians.She was one role model girls used to set when it comes to career setting.Man! she was famous atleast she thought among everyone.
Daring to take any risk for her job, she was reputed as top most journalist of INDIA where it takes ages to top in an arena and some seconds to fall from Grace.
Gunja was tired of urban rich and rags .Intervening same repetative odd sensations happennings in cities ,she was tired of evenly manipulated tasks of media journalism . Hunger for new untold facts and striving for rural struggle brought her to Danish,unassuming young lad who was caught and claimed as Naxalities in the outskirts of Birbhum ,West Bengal.
News of top leader of young red rebels caught in Birbhum spread across country like anything.
Danish was most wanted in CID list and one man behind several assassinations .
This country needs to sell news ,and Danish became the food forMedia. Every reporter wanted to interview Danish and know about the less explored life of a RED REBEL(Yeah that was this 26 yr Lad was addressed).
Gunja asked authority of news channel to make her access to Danish viable. This 25 yr smart girl had every thing under her soft palm money ,power,support ,common man and last but not the least Country. So when you have emotions of country as guard behind you every legal door opens in INDIA. So lights turned green and out of several reporters she was flown from Delhi with goverment envoy to intervene Danish.
On the first day she went to the house where Danish was kept in arrested mode.
The house had two rooms ,Gunja was taken by CRPF to a dark room where only source of light was a small window.
"Madamji,wait here " Constable made this comment and moved out.
Ambience in the room was quite strange smell of incense sticks were coming from one corner.
There was uncomfortable silence ,suddenly back door opened and two CRPF jawan came with a young boy completely in silence and shackles.
Danish was made to sit in chair middle of the room.Gunja caught the first sight of this cold blooded executioner,quite opposed to his reputation he was silent with deep dark eyes which had some story to tell.He was wearing a kurta and jeans,his face had the signs of reward that this jawans give to lost and found criminals.
One jawan shouted at Danish " Jo yeah Madam bolenge sab thik bolna"
"Madamji only 30 minutes hain,aur kuch interview mera aur Bilas ka bhi lijiyega aakhir apon dono iis kutte ko pakra hain"
Saying this they kept Numb.
Gunja was awestruck at the mild coldness that Danish had in his face ,perhaps she could not believe him to be a killer.
"Don't worry madamji, shoot your questions otherwise you will lose your high earned reputation"
Danish uttered breaking Gunja 's speculations.
Gunja(G):"Do you know me?"
Danish(D):"I have to know you to stay in India , Miss Gunja ,over 13 news channels are bidding to get you and every politician needs you to question them for being famous,Am I wrong?"
G: "you seem to be very updated.why did u choose this line of manslaughtering and fighting this war in the name of people's war,when you know you will not win"
D:"It seems you are predicting future Gunja,sorry I am calling your name,and how do you know I killed all the names that are flashed by goverment.And perhaps we are not fighting to win but to equalize rural demands with urban."
G:" blood sheedding doesn't mean doing justice to your rural development dream"
D: " perhaps it gives an indication to so called politicians and aristocrats to live in fear.A fear to do good to rural people for their lives"
G:"Do you think you are right in your philosophy"
D:"No but is the goverment right"
Gunja,poor girl she has met his opponent right here in Birbhum and out of 2018 personalities from different spheres of life she was amazed by seeing the guts of Danish.Perhaps she enjoyed that she was being silently and vehemently opposed by this guy.Nobody opposed her,everybody succumbed to her cross questioning but now there was this man,Danish .
She was given small time to interview but she went on for hours,conversation stopped by the dreading sound of blast.
G:"What was that?"
D:"They have came to kill me".
G:"oh god but who are they".
D:"real predators I m only the ALIBI mam,real hunters roam around "
Gunja thought of running but Danish jumped on her.At once she was on ground , fortunately enough as there was flash flood of bullets which killled the two CRPF men.
D:"Bring the keys and open my chains "
G:" why ,how Can I trust you"
D: " stop shouting and don't worry I will not charge you for my trust and apart from who can you trust to save you from this rain of bullets and grenades"
Gunja had no other option she opened Danish chains taking keys from dead CRPF jawaan lying.
Danish caught Gunjas hand firmly and shouted:"Take a deep breath memsaheb,and run ,run with me don't look back"
In the next moment Danish pushed a hidden door underground the room and started running with GUNJA.
Gunja amidst this life and death situation felt the warmth of Damish Palms.
They ran and ran through hidden chamber for 30 mins and then through a manhole they went up to Land.
D: "This is road going straight to railway station, I will drop you there and leave"
G:"Its already dark and perhaps they will find us "
D:"Not us they are after me,don't lose moment you will be fine we should run"
G:"I can't"
D:"Ok"
Saying this he picked up Gunja in his string arms and kept running.After 25 mins They could hear train whistles ,Station has came.
D:" Take the early train to Durgapur here is 500 bucks keep it with this knife"
He handed 500 rs and knife from his brief and gave it Gunja,
G:" you are not coming"
D:"If I go here they will kill me and If I stay here I will die so its better I should only run rather than stay"
G: "why they wanted to kill you "
D:"Politics memshaheb,politics perhaps you see this as war between goverment and rebels but all is manifested real warmongers are sponsoring from outside.
And last thing I was not caught I surrendered but it got manipulated."
G:"Danish ,what is this this is a bloody booby trap set for you"
D:" They wanted to make my death look realistic so they brought you from Capital to make you die in the hands of Red labels. Harsh part is common man will only believe what they are made to"
Danish was about to go Gunja holded his hands
G:"Danish please come with me,I shall narrate the true story to all ,I have access to certain top notch officials"
D:"Memshaheb don't make a tiger believe that there is life in zoo,everything is corrupted and don't tell that a COLD BLOODED ASSASSIN like me save you they will mock you.Make up a story of your ESCAPE and sell it.It will storm India.And don't tell anybody a killer without assessing the fact from opponent eyes,It Hurts."
G: "I m sorry but plz cm with me I will protect you"
D:"Protect yourself from world.Good bye memshaheb agar zinda rahein to phir milenge"
Danish within a spark vanished.
Gunja took the tickets and waited for the train thinking about Danish,her job,people and every other rubbish thoughts.
The man who was destined to be awarded death by every INDIAN strangely become her lifeline here in red zone.
Its strange sometimes you are made to see and judge one side of story and give verdict.
Every struggle between good and evil has some exaggerations ,Gunja faced such exception in BIRBHUM.
REALITY IS REALLY STRANGER THAN FICTION.
Gunja Mukherjee,yeah you must been seen her in your favourite news channel chit chatting with filmi personalae or cross questioning polticians.She was one role model girls used to set when it comes to career setting.Man! she was famous atleast she thought among everyone.
Daring to take any risk for her job, she was reputed as top most journalist of INDIA where it takes ages to top in an arena and some seconds to fall from Grace.
Gunja was tired of urban rich and rags .Intervening same repetative odd sensations happennings in cities ,she was tired of evenly manipulated tasks of media journalism . Hunger for new untold facts and striving for rural struggle brought her to Danish,unassuming young lad who was caught and claimed as Naxalities in the outskirts of Birbhum ,West Bengal.
News of top leader of young red rebels caught in Birbhum spread across country like anything.
Danish was most wanted in CID list and one man behind several assassinations .
This country needs to sell news ,and Danish became the food forMedia. Every reporter wanted to interview Danish and know about the less explored life of a RED REBEL(Yeah that was this 26 yr Lad was addressed).
Gunja asked authority of news channel to make her access to Danish viable. This 25 yr smart girl had every thing under her soft palm money ,power,support ,common man and last but not the least Country. So when you have emotions of country as guard behind you every legal door opens in INDIA. So lights turned green and out of several reporters she was flown from Delhi with goverment envoy to intervene Danish.
On the first day she went to the house where Danish was kept in arrested mode.
The house had two rooms ,Gunja was taken by CRPF to a dark room where only source of light was a small window.
"Madamji,wait here " Constable made this comment and moved out.
Ambience in the room was quite strange smell of incense sticks were coming from one corner.
There was uncomfortable silence ,suddenly back door opened and two CRPF jawan came with a young boy completely in silence and shackles.
Danish was made to sit in chair middle of the room.Gunja caught the first sight of this cold blooded executioner,quite opposed to his reputation he was silent with deep dark eyes which had some story to tell.He was wearing a kurta and jeans,his face had the signs of reward that this jawans give to lost and found criminals.
One jawan shouted at Danish " Jo yeah Madam bolenge sab thik bolna"
"Madamji only 30 minutes hain,aur kuch interview mera aur Bilas ka bhi lijiyega aakhir apon dono iis kutte ko pakra hain"
Saying this they kept Numb.
Gunja was awestruck at the mild coldness that Danish had in his face ,perhaps she could not believe him to be a killer.
"Don't worry madamji, shoot your questions otherwise you will lose your high earned reputation"
Danish uttered breaking Gunja 's speculations.
Gunja(G):"Do you know me?"
Danish(D):"I have to know you to stay in India , Miss Gunja ,over 13 news channels are bidding to get you and every politician needs you to question them for being famous,Am I wrong?"
G: "you seem to be very updated.why did u choose this line of manslaughtering and fighting this war in the name of people's war,when you know you will not win"
D:"It seems you are predicting future Gunja,sorry I am calling your name,and how do you know I killed all the names that are flashed by goverment.And perhaps we are not fighting to win but to equalize rural demands with urban."
G:" blood sheedding doesn't mean doing justice to your rural development dream"
D: " perhaps it gives an indication to so called politicians and aristocrats to live in fear.A fear to do good to rural people for their lives"
G:"Do you think you are right in your philosophy"
D:"No but is the goverment right"
Gunja,poor girl she has met his opponent right here in Birbhum and out of 2018 personalities from different spheres of life she was amazed by seeing the guts of Danish.Perhaps she enjoyed that she was being silently and vehemently opposed by this guy.Nobody opposed her,everybody succumbed to her cross questioning but now there was this man,Danish .
She was given small time to interview but she went on for hours,conversation stopped by the dreading sound of blast.
G:"What was that?"
D:"They have came to kill me".
G:"oh god but who are they".
D:"real predators I m only the ALIBI mam,real hunters roam around "
Gunja thought of running but Danish jumped on her.At once she was on ground , fortunately enough as there was flash flood of bullets which killled the two CRPF men.
D:"Bring the keys and open my chains "
G:" why ,how Can I trust you"
D: " stop shouting and don't worry I will not charge you for my trust and apart from who can you trust to save you from this rain of bullets and grenades"
Gunja had no other option she opened Danish chains taking keys from dead CRPF jawaan lying.
Danish caught Gunjas hand firmly and shouted:"Take a deep breath memsaheb,and run ,run with me don't look back"
In the next moment Danish pushed a hidden door underground the room and started running with GUNJA.
Gunja amidst this life and death situation felt the warmth of Damish Palms.
They ran and ran through hidden chamber for 30 mins and then through a manhole they went up to Land.
D: "This is road going straight to railway station, I will drop you there and leave"
G:"Its already dark and perhaps they will find us "
D:"Not us they are after me,don't lose moment you will be fine we should run"
G:"I can't"
D:"Ok"
Saying this he picked up Gunja in his string arms and kept running.After 25 mins They could hear train whistles ,Station has came.
D:" Take the early train to Durgapur here is 500 bucks keep it with this knife"
He handed 500 rs and knife from his brief and gave it Gunja,
G:" you are not coming"
D:"If I go here they will kill me and If I stay here I will die so its better I should only run rather than stay"
G: "why they wanted to kill you "
D:"Politics memshaheb,politics perhaps you see this as war between goverment and rebels but all is manifested real warmongers are sponsoring from outside.
And last thing I was not caught I surrendered but it got manipulated."
G:"Danish ,what is this this is a bloody booby trap set for you"
D:" They wanted to make my death look realistic so they brought you from Capital to make you die in the hands of Red labels. Harsh part is common man will only believe what they are made to"
Danish was about to go Gunja holded his hands
G:"Danish please come with me,I shall narrate the true story to all ,I have access to certain top notch officials"
D:"Memshaheb don't make a tiger believe that there is life in zoo,everything is corrupted and don't tell that a COLD BLOODED ASSASSIN like me save you they will mock you.Make up a story of your ESCAPE and sell it.It will storm India.And don't tell anybody a killer without assessing the fact from opponent eyes,It Hurts."
G: "I m sorry but plz cm with me I will protect you"
D:"Protect yourself from world.Good bye memshaheb agar zinda rahein to phir milenge"
Danish within a spark vanished.
Gunja took the tickets and waited for the train thinking about Danish,her job,people and every other rubbish thoughts.
The man who was destined to be awarded death by every INDIAN strangely become her lifeline here in red zone.
Its strange sometimes you are made to see and judge one side of story and give verdict.
Every struggle between good and evil has some exaggerations ,Gunja faced such exception in BIRBHUM.
REALITY IS REALLY STRANGER THAN FICTION.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Love HurTs
"Rajat waited for your phone call" this is what Moumita heard Nihal saying before hunging up the phone.Delhi was literally in flash flood victimised state and occasional rescue operation was going on here and there.Every house had their window closed to stop the rain to disturb the peace of nuclear proned sophisticated middle class life but Moumita left her window unlatched .
Heavy winds was creating turmoil in the the small garden on the 3rd floor Apartment where Moumita lived but this didn't created any sensation within her.
Standing with tear loaded eyes Moumita thoughts quickly went into flashback of her moments with Rajat.Rajat and Moumita were in same class ,same department,same projects and many more things with "same" applied . But the strange things about Rajat was that he hardly tried to carry on conversation with Moumita.On the other she had Jeet as her boyfriend so no efforts was shown from her side to know about this mediocre guy Rajat.Who cares,was her precious attitude.
Things had to change ,every one got jobs at the end of graduation few of them were left Moumita was among that lot.Jeet left her ,ego rules man and soft target of his ego was Moumita.It is just well said "It is better to lose than to love a loser"---------may be this was Jeet 's motto.
Moumita was not remembered among her so called keen friends.She was staying at home for 2 months with no job and lot of aggressive plans to venture but above all no one to let her frustations out.She was ALONE with her silence.
Perhaps fate made it.After 3 months of house arrest with no friends suddenly her mobile rang:
"Hi :" Unknown caller
Moumita: "Who 's this"
" Hey I m hmmmmmmmmmmm Rajat,Remember we were in same batch"-----Rajat(Identity defined)
Moumita: "Yeah I remember you are the guy who forgot the whole speech when MP came to visit Right"
Rajat:" Thats so kind of you to remember-----------I never expected this though"
Moumita:" Oh know I was just kidding ,You are the most reserved batch mate in the whole batch so we use to pull your leg"
This things and many more free spirited conversations came on with this single phn call.
Slowly Rajat called Moumita every day and twisted her forlorn and damaged heart with urge to rise up and face the world.Be it in her dark moments or good moments he had his invisible touch on her shoulder.
Moumita felt this was an due friendship which did not flourished in public eyes but through Airtel wired eyes.Perhaps their friendship was safer amidst this stone and hectic world.
In winter after 6 months of hardship Moumita got placed in an MNC and as a schedule she had to move out of India.Rajat was working in a Govt Enterprise.
Moumita remembered how after getting the job she used to ignore Towards Rajat as she felt she was by far superior to be in terms with a common lower middle class friend.Rajat tried ringing her and after several missed calls she picked up the phone only to say "DON'T DISTURB I M BUSY IN PREPARATIONS TO GO ABROAD". The coversations which used to run hours all without fullstop ,now needed a closure from Moumita's side.
On the last day standing near the airport She felt that she should call Rajat.Rajat picked up much to her amusement as she thought becoz of her repetative roughness Rajat wouldn't pick up. But Rajat had strange personality how can he defy his love for her ,he had more love less ego towards her.
" Hi Rajat,today I m going Boston" ---------Moumita
"Yeah,I will miss you and .........."---------Rajat
"And what........speak up do you have anything more to say"------------M
"Remember me....................please give me your no at states,don't hesitate to call up when you r in stress"---------------------R
For a moment Moumita felt bad for what she has done to such relationship.She wanted to say sorry and something stopped her.
"Goodbye Rajat"------------------Those last words hurted Rajat.She should have told something more easier.
9 months later scenario changed Moumita had returned to India and had taken small apartment in Delhi.Recession had hit her company hard and her salary was meagered adding to this job threat was there. Moumita felt stressed of this uncertain wired life 10am to 9 pm office shifts and men who only wanted her minus her feelings.She felt the need to burst out her anger into a buffer .At once she thought of Rajat.But he must have changed Moumita thoughts bewildered for a little but somewhere inside her heart she knew :Rajat had a heart booked for her only and only she can kick in and out of that secluded place.Much like an Toy for this rusty girl.She tried Rajat number which she had memorized in her brain (may be this is sign for love or just mathematics ).Mobile was out of service.
She got furious that Rajat didn't gave her his new number .Then she went for Nihal ,Rajat's brother who she knew via Rajat only.Called him.
Mou: "Hi Nihal"
Nihal: "hello who's this "
M:"this is moumita,remember me your brothers friend"
N:"how can i forgot u ,tell me what you want"
M:"can i talk to Rajat"
N:"he is no more Moumita,no more------------"
A pause was generated which made Moumita sit numb
N: "He had Leukaemia ,last week was his last chemo after that all ended"
Moumita had no clue .
"Perhaps He expected your call everyday since you went abroad . He tried to call you Moumita taking your number from your friends in Orkut.But you did not responded .Though he died recently but it was 9 months ago that his heart had stopped beating .He expected you to call "
This words automatically made things simpler.
Moumita ditched Rajat and Rajat ditched Life.
Moumita lost a friend but Rajat lost both Life and love.
Heavy winds was creating turmoil in the the small garden on the 3rd floor Apartment where Moumita lived but this didn't created any sensation within her.
Standing with tear loaded eyes Moumita thoughts quickly went into flashback of her moments with Rajat.Rajat and Moumita were in same class ,same department,same projects and many more things with "same" applied . But the strange things about Rajat was that he hardly tried to carry on conversation with Moumita.On the other she had Jeet as her boyfriend so no efforts was shown from her side to know about this mediocre guy Rajat.Who cares,was her precious attitude.
Things had to change ,every one got jobs at the end of graduation few of them were left Moumita was among that lot.Jeet left her ,ego rules man and soft target of his ego was Moumita.It is just well said "It is better to lose than to love a loser"---------may be this was Jeet 's motto.
Moumita was not remembered among her so called keen friends.She was staying at home for 2 months with no job and lot of aggressive plans to venture but above all no one to let her frustations out.She was ALONE with her silence.
Perhaps fate made it.After 3 months of house arrest with no friends suddenly her mobile rang:
"Hi :" Unknown caller
Moumita: "Who 's this"
" Hey I m hmmmmmmmmmmm Rajat,Remember we were in same batch"-----Rajat(Identity defined)
Moumita: "Yeah I remember you are the guy who forgot the whole speech when MP came to visit Right"
Rajat:" Thats so kind of you to remember-----------I never expected this though"
Moumita:" Oh know I was just kidding ,You are the most reserved batch mate in the whole batch so we use to pull your leg"
This things and many more free spirited conversations came on with this single phn call.
Slowly Rajat called Moumita every day and twisted her forlorn and damaged heart with urge to rise up and face the world.Be it in her dark moments or good moments he had his invisible touch on her shoulder.
Moumita felt this was an due friendship which did not flourished in public eyes but through Airtel wired eyes.Perhaps their friendship was safer amidst this stone and hectic world.
In winter after 6 months of hardship Moumita got placed in an MNC and as a schedule she had to move out of India.Rajat was working in a Govt Enterprise.
Moumita remembered how after getting the job she used to ignore Towards Rajat as she felt she was by far superior to be in terms with a common lower middle class friend.Rajat tried ringing her and after several missed calls she picked up the phone only to say "DON'T DISTURB I M BUSY IN PREPARATIONS TO GO ABROAD". The coversations which used to run hours all without fullstop ,now needed a closure from Moumita's side.
On the last day standing near the airport She felt that she should call Rajat.Rajat picked up much to her amusement as she thought becoz of her repetative roughness Rajat wouldn't pick up. But Rajat had strange personality how can he defy his love for her ,he had more love less ego towards her.
" Hi Rajat,today I m going Boston" ---------Moumita
"Yeah,I will miss you and .........."---------Rajat
"And what........speak up do you have anything more to say"------------M
"Remember me....................please give me your no at states,don't hesitate to call up when you r in stress"---------------------R
For a moment Moumita felt bad for what she has done to such relationship.She wanted to say sorry and something stopped her.
"Goodbye Rajat"------------------Those last words hurted Rajat.She should have told something more easier.
9 months later scenario changed Moumita had returned to India and had taken small apartment in Delhi.Recession had hit her company hard and her salary was meagered adding to this job threat was there. Moumita felt stressed of this uncertain wired life 10am to 9 pm office shifts and men who only wanted her minus her feelings.She felt the need to burst out her anger into a buffer .At once she thought of Rajat.But he must have changed Moumita thoughts bewildered for a little but somewhere inside her heart she knew :Rajat had a heart booked for her only and only she can kick in and out of that secluded place.Much like an Toy for this rusty girl.She tried Rajat number which she had memorized in her brain (may be this is sign for love or just mathematics ).Mobile was out of service.
She got furious that Rajat didn't gave her his new number .Then she went for Nihal ,Rajat's brother who she knew via Rajat only.Called him.
Mou: "Hi Nihal"
Nihal: "hello who's this "
M:"this is moumita,remember me your brothers friend"
N:"how can i forgot u ,tell me what you want"
M:"can i talk to Rajat"
N:"he is no more Moumita,no more------------"
A pause was generated which made Moumita sit numb
N: "He had Leukaemia ,last week was his last chemo after that all ended"
Moumita had no clue .
"Perhaps He expected your call everyday since you went abroad . He tried to call you Moumita taking your number from your friends in Orkut.But you did not responded .Though he died recently but it was 9 months ago that his heart had stopped beating .He expected you to call "
This words automatically made things simpler.
Moumita ditched Rajat and Rajat ditched Life.
Moumita lost a friend but Rajat lost both Life and love.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
19Th August I bunked
Yeah Bunking has returned to my life . I bunked my office for finding time with myself and escape drab artificial pro-life.
They had promised for outing games,food etc etc.But do they promise peace of mind ,love safe future.Fake smiles do count here I also become fake when I am in this hell.
So I decided to escape for atleast 1 day and drink a liitle.
I watches 2 back to back Leonardo d carpio movies "Catch me If you can" and "Titanic".Liked both.Had Fosters though it didn't made me intoxicated but made me sad as I was away from home.It made me miss my parents.Ironically if I had gone to office and outing this pleasures of solitude would have been devoured from me.
I me n myself are true rest fake.
At evening one of my college mates plus colleague sms d me saying you miss a lot by not coming to outing.
Yeah I miss a liitle but what about I miss myself everyday,Its more painful.
Ok Now I need to study for work :)
They had promised for outing games,food etc etc.But do they promise peace of mind ,love safe future.Fake smiles do count here I also become fake when I am in this hell.
So I decided to escape for atleast 1 day and drink a liitle.
I watches 2 back to back Leonardo d carpio movies "Catch me If you can" and "Titanic".Liked both.Had Fosters though it didn't made me intoxicated but made me sad as I was away from home.It made me miss my parents.Ironically if I had gone to office and outing this pleasures of solitude would have been devoured from me.
I me n myself are true rest fake.
At evening one of my college mates plus colleague sms d me saying you miss a lot by not coming to outing.
Yeah I miss a liitle but what about I miss myself everyday,Its more painful.
Ok Now I need to study for work :)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
NOTE TO PAIN
Last note of the day:
Just hear the following song from Arth :
LYRICS
Tum Itna Jo Muskura Rahe Ho
Kya Gham Hai Jisko Chhupa Rahe Ho
Aankhon Mein Nami, Hansi Labon Par
Kya Haal Hai Kya Dikha Rahe Ho
Ban Jayenge Zehar Peete Peete
Yeh Ashq Jo Piye Ja Rahe Ho
Jin Zakhmon Ko Waqt Bhar Chala Hai
Tum Kyon Unhe Chhedhe Ja Rahe Ho Rekhaon
Ka Khel Hai Muqaddar
Rekhaon Se Maat Kha Rahe Ho
Tum Itna Jo...
some haunting lyrics ...........u really smile a lot to hide your fear and pain.AND strangely this is LIFE.Good bye for today
Quite a Day----------------->
Last night before sleeping at 12 'o clock I made a resolution -----------"I am going to bring my life in complete plan".As said first thing which I planned is to get up at 5'o clock and the result was 9.00 am.Man I was again late for office .
Start was fine in office I was assigned a problem to fix by EOD though as always with less luck and limited knowledge you get troubles packed up on your way.
I know I will not do justice to the problem and even if I try this place with not let me allow to concentrate.
A IT life in bangalore is really striking You see people smilling enjoying,eating ,smoking and doing every little shit of life with no enthusiasm but with a lot of precaution.
There is no glory being an IT man here in Bangalore because 99.9 % of women you meet are from IT.Yeah I mean who would you boast your ego on and show off for whom.
This is my second post ,I am feeling great that I am finally jotting down my lame thoughts:It feels well to get on your thoughts here at least you can get relaxed.
I stay here quite alone with my family miles away in Kolkata ,no third entity to relate my absurd problems with.
When you stay alone ,your past comes rewinding in your mind again and again which really brings you face to face with your current jeopardised life.
I remember a quote rather a sentence which I heard from My GUJJU friend in College
"ZINDAGI ZANDHWA FHIRBI GAMANDWA:"
that means when Life is running into ashes still you have your foolish ego to your defence.
Small ANTIQuoTE:
Love HURTs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
"Maybe Just another day I ran with you but now its a wild thought
Maybe for one second I wanted you in my arms but I woke up to remind my senses about what I lost?
Its you again ------------
Let me be in Pain,let me cry for you once again,
Stones are laid on our path to reunited and Blood stains are still so fresh.
Come back to sooth me again in this sands of time,come back for one last time. "
you really feel bad when your friends are appreciated in front of you...........thats what I am feeling now............when I will get some real shug on my shoulders and hear the words "well done".
Ages gone one life without luck is full of shit,you could see stones being thrown at you but you cannot run or protect yourself.
Agony resides like a legacy.
Dream run is getting void once again
Start was fine in office I was assigned a problem to fix by EOD though as always with less luck and limited knowledge you get troubles packed up on your way.
I know I will not do justice to the problem and even if I try this place with not let me allow to concentrate.
A IT life in bangalore is really striking You see people smilling enjoying,eating ,smoking and doing every little shit of life with no enthusiasm but with a lot of precaution.
There is no glory being an IT man here in Bangalore because 99.9 % of women you meet are from IT.Yeah I mean who would you boast your ego on and show off for whom.
This is my second post ,I am feeling great that I am finally jotting down my lame thoughts:It feels well to get on your thoughts here at least you can get relaxed.
I stay here quite alone with my family miles away in Kolkata ,no third entity to relate my absurd problems with.
When you stay alone ,your past comes rewinding in your mind again and again which really brings you face to face with your current jeopardised life.
I remember a quote rather a sentence which I heard from My GUJJU friend in College
"ZINDAGI ZANDHWA FHIRBI GAMANDWA:"
that means when Life is running into ashes still you have your foolish ego to your defence.
Small ANTIQuoTE:
Love HURTs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
"Maybe Just another day I ran with you but now its a wild thought
Maybe for one second I wanted you in my arms but I woke up to remind my senses about what I lost?
Its you again ------------
Let me be in Pain,let me cry for you once again,
Stones are laid on our path to reunited and Blood stains are still so fresh.
Come back to sooth me again in this sands of time,come back for one last time. "
you really feel bad when your friends are appreciated in front of you...........thats what I am feeling now............when I will get some real shug on my shoulders and hear the words "well done".
Ages gone one life without luck is full of shit,you could see stones being thrown at you but you cannot run or protect yourself.
Agony resides like a legacy.
Dream run is getting void once again
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Superheroes.I wish my name wondered in that list
Well,how to start this blog .I gave myself a bold promotion in jotting down my dreams and absurd imaginations through this space.
Well picture along side depicts very well What am I pointing at.
Yeah Superheroes...........they are all powerful,action listed and super intelligents with perfect reflexes.
Oh I cannot define me I am only a man not superman.
There are some instances in this seemingly dull life and mundane world that forces you to escape from wordly shackles and imagine yourself in great possession of unearthly power.
Yeah I don't know about others feelings but I seriously wish that if I had claws like Wolverine I would flaunt it while dealing with my managers.
Or if I had been from Kryton possesed atleast the flying attribute I would have ran away from this troubles of IT and yeah mind it I have civic sense I would flown with my Chaddis inside.
I mean Superheroes are really cool.When I was small I used to grow mad over spiderman comics
and even thought of getting bitten by
a spider . Intentions soon was curtailed as I didn't had my nuclear reactor.
I used to ponder how PETER PARKER managed his alter ego instincts,studies,love interest,family and most importantly his economy.Man! there was one episode of SPIDER MAN where he was literally killed I cried in my Bathroom hoping why poor parker have to face this.
This may Childhood foolishness or junk ---------------But one thing this superheroes really utter some superb lines which really makes sense not only for trouble maky world but also in this wired hectic abnormal world where I live in.
I will end my blog with just some quotes from my Fav Superheroes:
1."With great power , comes great responsibities"----Spiderman
2."I'm best at what I do,But What I do isn't quite nice" ----------Wolverine
3.The white Martians are holding all the Powerhouse members of the JLA as prisoners. Batman shows up and uses fire to defeat this Superman level villians like 5 at once. The Head guy of the Martians says to Superman "How can he do that he is just a Mere man?" and Superman said "He is anything [B]but a mere man"[/b]--------------Justice league quote said about Batman.
4. Last but the best one From Batman : "The mask is what I do, not who I am."
Yeah I still miss my childhood days when all superheroes seem be real-life .But they surely struck my emotions .............long live batman ,superman and XMEN.....at least you all inspire us to rise up from dead and give your best when you are injured to your worst.
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